I hope your all doing well… I’ve been doing alright these past couple of years, haha.
It’s pretty funny how things can seem like a complete cluster yet work out an hour or even a year later. With time things get easier. With time things grow, with time those things that eat at your soul dissipate and make you realize it was silly to let them eat at you in the first place.
What I am talking about are memories, good and bad.
It’s amazing to me how a day can go from extreme to flat in a matter of minutes or vice versa.
You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and sometimes, you don’t know what you were incapable of seeing until it’s staring you right in the face.
Yesterday, I found myself thinking of an old friend. My first friend. My friend whom got teased on the playground for being too tall whereas I was teased for being too short back in elementary school.
Every once in a while we reach out to each other, whether it’s her to me or I to her. We catch up, and we have a damn good laugh or two. She’s one of those friends where when you are distant for a bit (days, months, even years) no matter what when together again, it’s as if nothing had changed.
And here I was thinking I was completely alone. How incredibly silly of me.
I think I’ve always been a tad afraid of change, but I also like to think of myself as a “go with the flow” type of person for the most part.
I know, I’m a pain in the ass.
When it comes to friendships… I am still a pain in the ass.
I tell it like it is, while also hiding little things from people in order to hide them from pain.
I know how it feels to be kicked while I’m down, let’s just say.
I know you have all heard or read people talking about how they were taunted as a kid, teen, adult even, and i have to tell you that it’s true. Some bullies grow to be bigger bullies.
But you know, even when those bullies get you down, there’s always someone who backs you up whether you see them or not.
I like to think I had a solid group of friends through my life, up until high school as with everyone else’s experience– people change as well as friendships.
Things change– people do things they are not proud of (at least I hope with every fiber of my being they look back and regret some of those things for their own growth)– and in turn it can have a massive impact on a person.
I was bullied, while also fending off bullies.
I did the whole ignoring them bit.
I did the whole erasing their existence from my life.
However, that does not erase the memories or the hurtful things said.
I believe when there are faults, a person must own up to them and then use what was learned to never make said mistake ever again. I still believe that. That will never change.
Now, as a junior in college (bless me, I was about to say high school) I found myself down earlier tonight about something as silly as not writing on a post-it note right. Foolish child. But sometimes, little things build up and inevitably one ends up thinking of their whole entire existence. Charming.
And who ended up appearing right out of the blue, right on time? None other than my first friend.
I always thought of myself as lucky, but never so lucky to have such great people in my life. My family, my friends, the extras such as teachers, professors, a cute donut shop server, or even someone I pass on the street that smiles at me.
It’s goofy and sounds a bit odd, I know. But I don’t want to take anything or anyone for granted. I love learning, I do it every single day.
If I learn something in a day, I consider that day a winner.
Today, I learned that I made a really good choice as my first friend.
It’s not about quantity, it is about quality, and I hope you all realize that too.
P.S. I have another blog called “mystreetchic3” that I’ve been writing on for the past couple of years that I’ve been absent on this one… forgive me. I am but an idiot. Honestly, it would mean the world to me if you went on over to that one and followed; or not, your choice. I’m hoping to one day merge them somehow, although I really don’t know how to go about that. So for now, this is what I’m working with… your opinion. Let me know what blog I should use as my set-in-stone not changing blog. It would help me out a lot. They are “mystreetchic” and “mystreetchic3” ( I know, such originality for someone who doesn’t want to be found on the internet psh).