Tag Archives: change

Hi…It’s been a while.

I hope your all doing well… I’ve been doing alright these past couple of years, haha.

It’s pretty funny how things can seem like a complete cluster yet work out an hour or even a year later. With time things get easier. With time things grow, with time those things that eat at your soul dissipate and make you realize it was silly to let them eat at you in the first place.

What I am talking about are memories, good and bad.

It’s amazing to me how a day can go from extreme to flat in a matter of minutes or vice versa.

You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, and sometimes, you don’t know what you were incapable of seeing until it’s staring you right in the face.

Yesterday, I found myself thinking of an old friend. My first friend. My friend whom got teased on the playground for being too tall whereas I was teased for being too short back in elementary school.

Every once in a while we reach out to each other, whether it’s her to me or I to her. We catch up, and we have a damn good laugh or two. She’s one of those friends where when you are distant for a bit (days, months, even years) no matter what when together again, it’s as if nothing had changed.

And here I was thinking I was completely alone. How incredibly silly of me.

I think I’ve always been a tad afraid of change, but I also like to think of myself as a “go with the flow” type of person for the most part.

I know, I’m a pain in the ass.

When it comes to friendships… I am still a pain in the ass.

I tell it like it is, while also hiding little things from people in order to hide them from pain.

I know how it feels to be kicked while I’m down, let’s just say.

I know you have all heard or read people talking about how they were taunted as a kid, teen, adult even, and i have to tell you that it’s true. Some bullies grow to be bigger bullies.

But you know, even when those bullies get you down, there’s always someone who backs you up whether you see them or not.

I like to think I had a solid group of friends through my life, up until high school as with everyone else’s experience– people change as well as friendships.

Things change– people do things they are not proud of (at least I hope with every fiber of my being they look back and regret some of those things for their own growth)– and in turn it can have a massive impact on a person.

I was bullied, while also fending off bullies.

I did the whole ignoring them bit.

I did the whole erasing their existence from my life.

However, that does not erase the memories or the hurtful things said.

I believe when there are faults, a person must own up to them and then use what was learned to never make said mistake ever again. I still believe that. That will never change.

Now, as a junior in college (bless me, I was about to say high school) I found myself down earlier tonight about something as silly as not writing on a post-it note right. Foolish child. But sometimes, little things build up and inevitably one ends up thinking of their whole entire existence. Charming.

And who ended up appearing right out of the blue, right on time? None other than my first friend.

I always thought of myself as lucky, but never so lucky to have such great people in my life. My family, my friends, the extras such as teachers, professors, a cute donut shop server, or even someone I pass on the street that smiles at me.

It’s goofy and sounds a bit odd, I know. But I don’t want to take anything or anyone for granted. I love learning, I do it every single day.

If I learn something in a day, I consider that day a winner.

Today, I learned that I made a really good choice as my first friend.

It’s not about quantity, it is about quality, and I hope you all realize that too.




P.S. I have another blog called “mystreetchic3” that I’ve been writing on for the past couple of years that I’ve been absent on this one… forgive me. I am but an idiot. Honestly, it would mean the world to me if you went on over to that one and followed; or not, your choice. I’m hoping to one day merge them somehow, although I really don’t know how to go about that. So for now, this is what I’m working with… your opinion. Let me know what blog I should use as my set-in-stone not changing blog. It would help me out a lot. They are “mystreetchic” and “mystreetchic3” ( I know, such originality for someone who doesn’t want to be found on the internet psh).


college so far

Hi! I’m not sure of what to talk about at the moment because if I’m being honest with you not much is happening besides a load of homework that I simply don’t want to do. I wish I could talk about some sort of fun experience or new person but to be honest not much has happened. not that I haven’t had good times with people, I have. I just feel a bit empty right now and consumed in all of this school. college is definitley different than high school in the sense that there is so much more freedom; but there is also a lot more work. I’m very tired, and bored. your probably all thinking “well then go out and do something!” But I simply don’t feel like doing anything at the moment. Maybe all these feelings are just because I’m hungry and tired but honestly I don’t feel like walking down to the market (a little shop in my college dorm building that sells pizza) and grabbing something to eat–too many people. That’s another thing I should probably mention–I’m not the most comfortable when surrounded by new people. in fact I’m quite awkward and I cant think of a moment where I haven’t been embarrassed up here. I know I need to somehow get over it but at this point in time I’m just trying to get through it. Nothing is wrong necessarily, I just wish I had some answers to a few things. only time can tell. I can hear the guys next door talking…sorry I thought I should mention that…I really hope they haven’t heard me singing because then that will just be awful for everyone won’t it haha.

p.s. I will most likely clarify whatever it is that I’m saying soon in a different post, as of this moment I just needed to type.


I’m at college now. It’s been good so far, I’ve hanged out with some friends, went to a concert, watched late night movies…it’s been good. Of course, I miss my family (who live 2 hours away) and there are still some things I’m getting used to but it’s all a part of growing up. I just wanted to chat quickly and say good luck if your starting school soon. My classes start tomorrow; I’m a bit worried but I’m sure things will work out. Thanks for reading this post, love you guys!!


Things Will Be Different

Everything is changing so quickly. in about a week and a half I may be sitting in a dorm room, rooming with people I know nothing about, trying to figure out what it is I plan on doing for the rest of my life. The struggle is real. And while I know I don’t have to have everything figured out right away, I like to plan and have some sort of thing to go with so that I know whatever it is I do I wont crash and burn full force. Now, im not saying that life is going to lead me down this never-ending tornado of hell, but I do think it will be a challenge. scratch that, I KNOW it will be a challenge and I plan on succeeding at the end in hopes that I will have a happy somewhat comfortable life. But the truth is, I’m afraid. im afraid that ill be in debt and hate my job, or maybe hate my decisions that led me to the end of the journey (which is non-existent at this stage in time). And while I know I shouldn’t be worrying about things like that, well its pretty hard to do nowadays when all of a sudden ive been thrust into the world and expected to make something of myself when im only 17, and have heard the words “oh, you’re  young, you have time, don’t worry child everything will be alright.” the truth is, ive been worrying about these things for a good portion of my life, some may have never noticed, but these thoughts have always been there in the walls of my mind. Don’t get me wrong, im excited, maybe even thrilled, but im also nervous. but whose to say its just me and that all these never-ending nightmares will come true; I know they wont as long as I don’t give them the power to. Now, this post may seem sad, but I promise you there IS indeed a point to my madness. I have never been one to be outgoing and fun unless im with a very close-knit group of friends or people who understand me, yet might not know how to express themselves as well. I’m not even super comfortable with my family as it is very easy for others. When your young, things seem to be so easy and simple, but as you get older, you learn more things about the world; things you most likely never wanted to know, but that’s just a part of growing up. For me at least, I know that one of the only ways I think I can become comfortable with myself and not die in a sea of the embarrassing awkward moments I have quite often in my life, is to just get out, let go, and figure stuff out on my own. which is why ive made the decision to go away to college rather than stay at home for a year, then head off. I have taken into consideration both possible options (staying home or going away) for the longest time, but ive decided there are more pros than cons. There is no doubt I will miss my family immensely (especially my twin sister), my aunts wonderful cooking, walking Bubba (my dog Riley), or watching cartoons in my pj’s at 2 in the afternoon until my eyes fall out. All the little things, I know I will miss. But I realize im leaving them in order to make greater things exist. All I can do at this point is hope that things turn out alright. Thanks for reading this, if you’ve even gotten this far, haha.

P.S. I have a CRAPLOAD of shopping to do. It’s insane.


Nat ❤